


Superhuman

by orphan_account



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: (a bit of), (his only friend is jake), (more like an attempt at comedy), (why theyre friends will be shown later), Alternate Universe - Connor Murphy Lives (Dear Evan Hansen), Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Angst, Comedy, Drug Dealing, F/F, F/M, High School, M/M, Michael Lee Brown!Evan, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Missing Persons, Mystery, No Squip!Rich, Phoenix Best!Alana, Will Roland!Jeremy, the be more chill characters arent a main focus and wont appear until chapter 3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-05-10 09:29:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14734391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It all started with a near miss. Evan Hansen discovers he's not ordinary, far from it. He gains the ability to burst into flame and begins to attend a new school with people like him. He begins to gain control of this power and isn't so alone anymore, making new friends. It seems to be going well until a classmate, Connor Murphy, vanishes without a trace. The police don't think of it as a priority and no one seems to care about the kid everyone thinks is nuts. Evan decides to look for him with the help of his friends. But how do you look for someone who you barely knew and didn't leave any clue behind?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fanfiction and i worked really hard on it! i hope you enjoy it!

“Unbelievable, Hansen. I’ve been busy for 10 months and you can’t even give me a proper welcome back party?” Jared teased while pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

Evan giggled a bit. Well, that was Jared for you. He’s been his only friend (“family friends,” Jared would often correct) since kindergarten. Since they’ve known each other for so long, Evan found the other boy’s messy black hair and graphic t-shirts familiar and comforting. After all, they survived their shitty middle school years together but Jared often occupied since he was transferred to another school almost a year ago.

“So um, where have you been, Jared?” Evan asked.

“Oh I’ve been to this...Jewish boarding school.”

“A Jewish boarding school? You didn’t live there.” Evan said, perplexed.

“I totally did, Hansen.” 

“I saw you driving home at 3am with 4 bags of Micky D’s.”

Jared scoffed. “Wasn’t me.”

Eivan stared at him, confused. “It was YOUR car!”

“Maybe someone else has a kickass car!” Jared joked. 

The two snickered, mostly about how much of a dork the other was. Jared finally had some free time and the pair spent the day strolling across the neighbourhood, being something resembled good friends.

“I’m still absolutely CRUSHED you didn’t get me a welcome home party.”

Evan rolled his blue eyes. “Yeah, well, what did you even want for it?”

He grinned, “I’m so glad you asked! It would’ve had jets in the sky, a full on marching band, screamo bands, Amy Schumer is there-”

Then the two spent an hour arguing about Amy Schumer. They ended up in the park where Evan worked. Autumn was arriving and the leaves began to fall. They were shades of fiery orange and Evan chattered about how the trees were so pretty during this time of year. They crossed through the park and reached a street. They stood by a sidewalk and continued their sarcastic conversation of the sheer comedic genius Amy Schumer. 

_That’s when it all went to shit._

A car swerved across the tiny street and made a deafening screech. Evan was tugged back and hit the pavement. Jared narrowly missed being hit. “ASSHOLE!” He screeched as the car made a sharp turn and disappeared.

Evan, petrified, sat up and scooted to the grass.

“Hansen?”

Jared sounded a million miles away. Evan couldn’t breathe, it was so suffocating. He stared at the ground. Everything around him began to ignite. Everything living around him started to die. The grass and dandelions lit up while their healthy green morphed into a sickly brown. Panicking, he scooted away from the fire. It followed him. His mind raced. Did the car crash? Did someone get hit? The fire grew especially massive, until all he could see was orange. Why wasn’t he choking, gagging, on the pungent smoke that surely should’ve come from the fire? 

He must’ve been covered with horrible burns, he couldn’t focus on one thing. His vision began to blur and the fire wouldn’t stop spreading, growing, engulfing. He managed to look up for a second while his chest heaved and wheezed from terror. Jared was just staring at him. He didn’t even care enough to save him from the inferno. His heart went a million miles an hour. Jared whispered something Evan couldn’t make out. 

“Jared!”

Jared got closer to Evan, but still kept a good distance. He reached out his hand as if he wanted to comfort Evan but realized he couldn’t at the last minute. All he saw was Evan Hansen, the sweet kid he'd known his whole life, that dork who cared about others so much, set ablaze. Only Evan, panicked beyond belief, unable to comprehend what was happening, but not screaming due to immense pain. Death by burning wasn't a pretty way to go. Then it hit Jared, a possibility he never considered before.

“Evan, does it hurt?” Jared’s voice lost all of his snarky, sardonic attitude.

“OF COURSE IT DOES!”

“No dude, do you actually feel like you’re being burned alive?”

Evan’s lack of pain finally processed. That was somehow even more horrifying.

“Oh my god. Jared, what’s happening?” He whimpered. 

“Well, uh, you’re on fire.”

“NO SHIT, SHERLOCK,” Evan bellowed, Jared was sometimes the least helpful person alive.  
“CALL 911, GIVE ME CPR, DO SOMETHING.”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS CPR GONNA DO? BOTH OF THOSE THINGS WOULD BE USELESS,” Jared exclaimed.

“THE POLICE WOULD BE USELESS?” Evan screamed back. Evan’s arm moved to point at Jared but a small ball of fire blasts out of his palm. Luckily, it missed Jared. Not so luckily, it hit an old oak tree across the street. The tree ignites and plunged into a river next to it. 

“YO, WHAT THE FUC-,” Jared yelled. Evan’s shriek cut off Jared’s vulgar reaction. 

“OH MY GOD. I’M A MONSTER, I’M LIKE THE HUMAN TORCH BUT WAY LAMER,” Evan bawled.

“JESUS DUDE, KEEP IT TOGETHER.” 

“I’M GONNA HAVE EVEN LESS FRIENDS.”

“EVAN, WE CAN’T FREAK OUT, OK?” Jared said, trying to be comforting. He assumed he was failing. He tried to relax his breathing, he never would thought Evan Hansen of all people would be on fire. Literally.

He shook his head, trying to stay focused. "Hansen, just try and stay calm."

Considering the panic Evan was feeling, it wasn't gonna happen any time soon. So the best Jared could do was sit with him so he at least knows he isn't alone right now. That's what he did. Evan’s terror began to subside and his skin, where the fire was originating, was only a mere spark 10 minutes later. The pair sat in silence, attempting to take it what happened. "What's going on?" Evan asked. 

"It's complicated. Hey uh, let's tell your mom what happened." He suggested.

"What? No! She'll kick me out and think I'm some freak! She’ll hate me!" Evan exclaimed.

"Dude, I promise she won't. Trust me."

"The last time you said that was April Fools day."

Jared chuckled at the memory of that April Fools day. “Replacing every piece of clothing I had with ‘Spoiler Alert: Hillary wins.’ t-shirt a year after she lost isn’t funny, Jared. It’s just cruel.’”

“Okay, fine. Hansen, she won’t freak out. She knows a thing or two about this.”

It took ages of arguing and convincing but the pair finally set back to Evan's house to try and make this whole thing less complicated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> exposition™

Heidi Hansen sat and stared for a second, trying to take in the news. She ran her fingers through her dirty blonde hair and seemed more exhausted than usual. She thought about the sheer terror her son must’ve felt at first.

He regarded her with terrified and confused eyes. “Am I a monster?”

“No, honey! Absolutely not! You just have enhanced abilities! I do, Jared does.” Jared shrugged at that comment and only nodded a little.

Evan’s head tilted to the side. “Wait, you two? What are you talking about?”

Heidi stood up, “I think it’s better to show you.” She removed a bandaid on her finger and revealed a small papercut. She winced because papercuts fucking suck.

“Are you ok?” Evan asked.

She looked back at her son and quickly nodded. She placed another finger on the cut and the skin near the cut glowed, almost sparkled. She raised her finger, then the cut began to disappear quickly. 

Evan watched in awe as the small wound completely vanished from sight and her hand was healed. Jared reacted like he saw it a million times before.

“I wasn’t sure to tell you, your father didn’t have any powers. There was a chance you wouldn’t have any either. He left before I could…” She trailed off, she hated everything about that day but she couldn’t forget it.

“Well, I have to go do something,” She said, snapping out of it. 

“W-Wait, what? Where are you going?” He was still shaken up over what happened and he didn’t want her to leave him.

“It’ll only take a little time, kiddo. I’ll be back before you know it!”

Jared patted Evan’s back, maybe to offer a bit of solace during this whole fiasco.

Heidi picked up her car keys, embraced her son and quickly headed out. Then it was just Jared and Evan with the house to themselves. The last time that happened, a microwave exploded.

“Where do you think she went?” Evan asked quietly. 

“I mean, she probably went to go enroll to my school.”

“Right. You, um, have powers too. Is your school like Sky High?”

Jared rolled his eyes. “Fucking hell. No!”

Evan chuckled, then continued to question Jared.

“So, um, what’s your power?”

“Better than yours,” Jared quipped while he strode into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and grabbed a Cola. He cracked it open and took a long sip. It was a direct contrast to his Pepsi graphic t-shirt though.

“Jared! I’m serious.”

“Indestructible penis,” He said with a mischievous grin. Evan groaned. 

“Alright, listen up, Hansen. I’ll explain one time. Powers are way more fucking common than civilians make them out to be. There’s a whole other side of town just for powered people to live and use their powers without fear of discovery. You live right next to the lake, right?”

Evan nodded and then looked out the kitchen window. The vast body of water was tranquil and still. 

“Well, ever wonder why you can’t boat on it? Or what’s on the other side? We’re hiding the whole town on the other side of that lake. That’s why no one is allowed on there. That’s where I go for school. You train to control your powers and stuff like that. But you also learn math, science, and shit like that. Heidi is probably enrolling you because your power doesn’t seem that stable. People have a random power, it’s weird. My dad has stretchy powers. Like the mom from the Incredibles. And I ended up with a completely unrelated power.”

“Elastic is in her name, Jared. You seriously don’t remember?”

“Who cares?”

“You do! You cried while watching The Incredibles 2 trailer!”

“We’re getting off track!” Jared interjected, instead of addressing the _obvious_ bullshit.

“Oh, uh right! Is it a boarding school?”

“No,” Jared replied.

“Wait, then where were you all summer? You said you were busy the entire time.”

Jared recalled his summer. He spent only a few weeks at a summer camp, then he came back during the middle of July and spent the rest of the summer chilling at home, playing Team Fortress 2, watching anime, listen to godlike music and browsing Reddit. Telling Evan he spent the entire time doing nerd shit would be embarrassing. 

“Uh, summer camp. I hit third base with this smoking hot camper.”

“What’s third base…?” Evan asked innocently.

It was Jared’s turn to groan. “You’re kidding, right?”

Evan shook his head, and Jared decided not to even start that conversation.

Jared and Evan spent the next thirty minutes waiting for Evan’s mom, and she arrived around 7pm. She explained that he’d be attending Jared’s school now and it’d be starting next week.

“Well, I better head home,” Jared said around 8pm and he swaggered to the front door with his I’m-totally-not-insecure-I’m-awesome persona.

Heidi made Evan a sandwich and headed out. “Nightly classes,” She explained. “Be in bed by 11 please.” 

Evan pretended this didn’t bother him and he agreed. She left and Evan examined his incredibly flammable home. If he got scared, he got burn down the whole neighbourhood. He let this sink in. _“I’m dangerous, I shouldn’t be here.”_ He thought.

The house felt a lot bigger when you’re alone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ooof this one took forever  
> its also super long so dont say i didnt warn u  
> chapter 4 probably wont take as long but i worked rlly hard on this chapter so enjoy!!

The days went by like a flash, Evan was surprised when Jared showed up at random times every single day. He couldn’t wrap his head around Jared even bothering to come to his house after what happened. Jared may have had powers too but Evan was unstable, he didn’t want to hurt Jared, he didn’t want to hurt anyone! His mother Heidi tried to spend more time with him, but Evan knew it was out of pity or something. She was barely around before, she clearly felt bad for him now. But at least when those two are around Evan could try and forget the fear of being able to destroy anything he touched.

The nights dragged on every day, it was slow and painful. Evan being alone with this “gift” of his every night only increased this unstable feeling. So he turned on the tv every night and tried not to think. It never worked, he’d always start overthinking. 

Finally, the week passed. Oddly, Evan dreaded and hoped for today. School never mixed well with him, he feared the possibility of having an attack and burning the whole school down. He had also hoped for it, the possibility of a fresh start with his (family) friend and learning to control it. 

Imagine if I could control it, he thought. I won’t have to live in fear of killing someone and causing a forest fire. I could always light candles or...something.

He couldn’t actually think of a use for fire. It was so consuming and destructive. He was horrendous at cooking so that’s not an option. Maybe he wouldn’t be cold during winter? 

He woke up at 6:30, unable to sleep any longer. Apprehensiveness and hope was a very restless mix. After he used the bathroom, he opened his closet and stared at its contents while running his hands through his wet, dark hair. What did superkids even wear to school? He didn’t want to be made fun of on his first day. Maybe he could just go with his classic blue and white striped polo shirt and khakis. He considered it and then remembered all the times Jared cackled about his outfit. 

He wore sweatpants and a light blue sweatshirt and slipped on some soft socks. He headed down into the kitchen and opened the fridge. He got some good, old 2% milk and then opened the pantry. They had two boxes of cereal, one was a weird, multicolored off brand cereal that tried to profit off Froot Loops by putting a fucking pelican on the cover. He prepared and ate his cereal slowly when his phone chimed. Oh, Jared was texting him! 

Jared: hey dicknibbler ill pick u up at 7:30 we gotta be there by 8:00

Unsure how to respond to being called a “dicknibbler” (whatever that means), Evan looked at the time. It was already around 7:00 am. He finished his breakfast, washed his dishes and picked up his backpack. Wait. What supplies does he need? His mom bought him some but he completely forgot to look at them. God, he was such an idiot. The bags full of supplies sat on the kitchen table and he pried it open. It contained basic stuff but there was this bright blue textbook. It had no title or author on the cover, it was just blank and blue. Inside was his schedule. 

Evan quickly stuffed his backpack and looked out the window. There was Jared, driving his beloved car he often bragged about. It was a faded green Honda Civic, rusted and covered with dents, and the bumper was held up by duct tape. Jared stuck his head out the driver's window, and flipped off Evan with a smile. Evan rolled his eyes and scoffed while heading down stairs. He slipped on his fucking uggs and headed out. 

“Took you long enough,” Jared said while Evan slid in the passenger’s seat.

Evan playfully nudged him while Jared giggled. The car sputtered and creaked when Jared tried to move forward. 

“What’s wrong with your car?”

“My car is a little bitch, that’s what!” He stepped outside and kicked the car’s hood. Evan watched as, somehow, his car roared to life and Jared got back into his drivers seat. Jared Kleinman wasn’t a very safe driver normally. He’d drive quickly and never wore a seatbelt. Now Evan Hansen was in his car. Evan was examining a hula dancer that rested on Jared’s dashboard. Fuck, he didn’t wanna freak Evan out. So Jared put on his seatbelt (for once in his life) and drove within the speed limit (he felt like a snail on a freeway). 

“Your car smells like flaming hot cheetos.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Jared said with a laugh.

“Hey Jared?” Evan said while he looked at him with his cool eyes. “What is your power?”

Jared made eye contact with him briefly and then quickly broke it. He knew if he didn’t break it, he wouldn’t be able to stop looking at those goddamn eyes.

“Being awesome,” He quipped. 

“That’s not a power!” Evan said while laughing.

Jared drove on a deserted forest road by the lake and rode up to a toll booth that blocked the way. Evan tried to take a walk here before but was stopped and told to turn back by the guy in the toll booth.

“This is what stops people from going to the powered side of town?”

“Have you seen someone go through a toll booth by choice?”

“Oh yeah, you’re right.”

Jared pulled up to the toll booth and the bar automatically went up. The toll manager woke up with a start and stared at the bar moving without him knowing, confused. “Hey! What the-?”

“How did you do that?” Jared grinned mischievously and kept driving. The forest became a small town and there were people flying through the air with kites. A teenager was having a conversation to their dog in a park and someone was playing tennis alone by teleporting on both sides on the court to hit the ball. Someone else took off their shoes and the sidewalk under their feet turned to ice. They slide around happily. 

Evan watched in wonder as the town went by his window, it made him feel a lot less weird or dangerous. They all used the skills they found freely! Without fear of hurting anybody or being a freak! They had so much control. 

Maybe I could be like this someday.

Jared pulled into the driveway of the school and parked it. 

“Alright Hansen, listen to me. DON’T talk to Brooke Lohst.”

“Who…?”

“Dude, just trust me. If you see her, don’t talk to her. Don’t look at her. Hell, don’t even think about her.”

Evan looked at him, bewildered. “Think about her? Why not…? Is she your friend?”

“Yes, she’s my friend and you can’t because she’s-”

Jared was cut off by a knocking at his drivers window. Someone short and grinning widely waved through the window. She wore a blue skirt and a shirt that said “Sugar, Butter, Flour.” The Pisces zodiac sign hung around her neck. She looked at him enthusiastically. 

“Jesus,” Jared muttered while rolling down the window. “Hey Caniglia.”

“Hi Jared! How was your summer?”

“Fine, I guess.”

“Oh! Who’s this?” She inquired curiously.

Evan waved and wiped his hands on his sweatpants, anxious. “Oh that’s Evan. He’s new. Evan, this is Christine.” Jared said while nudging Evan.

“Oh Evan? That’s the kid Brooke said-”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP.” Jared exclaimed, his face turning tomato red.

Christine giggled a bit. “It’s nice to meet you, Evan!” She said with a smile. 

“Oh, um, thanks.” Evan replied and Christine skipped over to the school. 

“Who was that?”

“She was in my drama class last year. Super quirky and odd.”

Jared and Evan stepped out of the car and strolled into the school. Evan looked at his schedule and looked around for class 1403 where he'd be having math.

Suddenly something dashed by him and his schedule flew through the air. "Jesus, Chloe. Slow down!" A shorter boy with brown hair and a red streak in it called out. The girl dashing by at a breakneck speed now stood at an open locker, decorating it. She wore back her brunette hair with blonde roots back with a purple headband and she raised an eyebrow at the shorter kid. “No can do, kid,” she said with a smirk. Evan stumbled over and tried to grab his schedule. It was at the feet of some combat boots. A hand with chipped black painted nails picked it up. “Is this yours?” Evan looked up and saw another kid with dark, long hair. He wore a dark jean-like vest and ripped black jeans. “Um, yeah.” The other boy handed Evan his schedule.  
“Yo, Murphy!” Jared called out. “How was your summer? Did you spend it listening to My Chemical Romance?” He teased. 

The boy looming over Evan groaned. 

“Fuck off, Kleinman,” he said while stomping off.

Jared sauntered over to Evan and helped him up.

“Who was that?”

“Does it matter?” Jared asked, jaded.

Brad fucking Pitt walked past the pair as Evan watched, puzzled beyond belief. “Huh, I forgot they’re filming the sequel for World War fucking Z,” Jared deadpanned. 

“What the-”

“Very funny, Jenna!” Jared called after the award winning actor. Brad laughed like a teenage girl and morphed into a girl with a dark purple top and dark pants.

“What the fuck?” Evan asked.

“Jenna Rolan. She’s a shapeshifter and she thinks she’s funny.”

“She can turn into anybody?”

“Yup. If you pay her 20 bucks, she’ll cover for you if you cut class.”

“Who covers for her?”

“No one. She’s just that awesome.”

The two navigate the halls, trying not bump into people, when a gust of air blows through the halls. Someone’s hat flew through the air. Someone was on the floor while being helped up by another kid in headphones and a red hoodie. The kid on the floor wore a multi-colored striped shirt, glasses and a blue cardigan. He looked taken aback and anxious. Jared and Evan leaned against the lockers and watched as the windy klutz brushed himself off and got out of the way of the others trying to walk through the halls.

“It’s okay,” said the kid in the red hoodie. “It’ll take some practice.”

“I dunno, man,” said the cardigan boy. “What if I never learn? And every time someone bumps into me, there’s a gust of air blowing people around.”

“It’s all good, Jeremy! I used to be shit at my power! Time would randomly stop and I’d have to wait for what felt like hours just for it to restart.”

Evan nudged Jared. “That kid who has wind powers,” he said. “Doesn’t he look like you?”

“What? No!” Jared responded. “Hey, windy thing! Are you new here?”

Jeremy looked over at Jared. “Uh, yeah.”

Jeremy’s friend looked at Jeremy, confused, and then he looked at Jared.

“Are you guys...twins or something?”

Jared scoffed. “No, I don’t even know this guy, Michael.”

“Are you joking? You guys even have the same glasses!”

Jeremy shrugged. “We don’t even look alike.”

“Are you blind, Jer?”

All four turned towards a sound, “HEY GUYS! I’M BACK.” A kid with a red letterman jacket and a cowboy hat that hung around his neck by the string grinned.

 

“Well, duh. Of course you’re back,” Chloe said, sounding slightly irritated. “It’s the first day, we ALL have to be back.”

He rolled up in a wheelchair to that kid with the red streak in his hair and gave him a secret handshake that looked way too complicated for Evan to comprehend. “Hey Rich! Have you been talking to my friends, man?”

Rich quickly shook his head. “Nah, I don’t wanna bother them, Jake,” he responded nervously.

Jake platonically patted Rich but Rich flinched.

“Nah, they like you! MICHAEL, JER, JENNA, RICH IS COOL RIGHT?”

“IF HE TALKED MORE, YEAH. SOCIALIZE, YOU PUNK BITCH,” Jenna exclaimed.

Rich looked down at his feet, muttering something Evan couldn’t make out.

“I WAS KIDDING, SORRY!”

“Hi Jake!” Christine greeted him happily. “How are your legs?”

“Badly broken!” He said it with an obvious fake smile. “Also while I was in the hospital, the accident I was in was trending on twitter?”

“Pffft, yeah, what’s up with that?” Jenna said, while hiding her phone behind her back.

Jared patted Evan to get his attention. “Dude, watch this,” he said while pointing at the boy he called “Murphy” who was hugging the walls, watching a video on his phone.  
Anime moans piecered the conversations the fellow students were having, and left the entire hall in awkward silence. He stared at his phone as some anime girl was getting gangbanged, replacing the movie review he was trying to watch. Jared couldn’t contain his laughter while Jenna said, “Wow Connor, that reboot of sailor moon seems wild.”

“KLEINMAN!”

“Gotta go Ev, I’ll see you in math!” Jared said, right before racing down the hall as Connor chased after him, fuming.

“Wait! How did you do that? And how do you know we have math togethe-,” He trailed off, knowing Jared can’t hear him. 

He pressed his back against the lockers again and watched people walk by. He was invisible again, wasn’t he?

The prettiest girl he’d ever seen walked up to him. She had the most beautiful blue eyes and wavy brunette hair over her shoulders. She wore casual plaid and a pink letterman jacket like she didn’t even know how breathtaking she was. Her cuffed jeans were a little ripped but they had stars scribbled on them. She was holding her textbook in one hand and she gazed at Evan, curious. Evan’s heart went a million miles an hour and all he could think was _“Humina, humina, humina,”_ over and over and over. What would he say? _*Heeeeeeey, I’m Evan.*_ No, that’s too fuckboy-y. _*Hiya!_ * No, too preppy. _*Sup.*_ He wasn’t feeling that either. Fuck, what do you say to a cute girl walking up to you?

“Hey,” she said, calm. Oh my god, hey. It was a perfect greeting. Simple, confident. 

“Hey,” he said while his voice cracked noticeably. Nailed it.

“Are you new here?” She asked, moving a strand of soft brown hair out of her face.

“Um, y-yeah! I’m Evan.”

“You’re Evan?”

“You know me?”

“Well, yeah,” she said nonchalantly. “Brooke mentioned you.”

“She did?” He asked. 

“Yeah, I’m Zoe, by the way.” She stated.

“N-Nice name,” Evan said, zoning out. Pretty, smart and cool? Holy shit. 

“Was that my brother? Chasing Jared?” Zoe asked.

“Oh! Um, yeah.” Evan confirmed.

“Yikes. Well, what else is new? They’re both dicks to each other,” She said

“So, um, what’s up?” Evan asked, trying to appear cool.

“You’re standing in front of my locker.” She giggled, smirking a bit. 

Evan basically tripped over himself moving out of the way. She placed her backpack on the ground and opened her locker. The backpack floated, surrounded by a hot pink aura. Then the backpack hung itself on the locker’s hook while Zoe closed it. Evan didn’t have time to watch in awe as he squeaked out, “Sorry,” while running away. 

He found himself against another pair of lockers, hitting the back of his head against one, repeated, “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” like a mantra. Suddenly, someone appeared right in front of him out of thin air. It was another girl with intelligent eyes behind round, black glasses. She wore a caramel cardigan over a dark dress and her hair was tied in a bun. 

“Why are you stupid?” She inquired.

“AH! WHERE’D YOU COME FROM?” Evan shrieked, frightened. 

“Oh, I’m sorry! Sometimes I forget when I’m invisible! My name is Alana Dahlia Beck, are you new here?” She extended her hand for a greeting. Evan calmed down a bit.

Evan wiped his hand on pants before he shook her hand. “Um, yes. Hi,” he muttered.

“Well, you’ll fit right in! What’s your power?” She said it so quickly, like she practiced. Evan didn’t have the heart to tell her that fitting in is his problem. He fit in too well. 

“Fire…,” he replied.

“Fascinating! I could sit with you at lunch and explain things to you.”

“Um, I think Jared is gonna sit with me.” Evan thought about this for a second and realized. Jared had actual friends here, why would he ever sit with Evan? “Maybe,” he added.

“Even better! Jared is a good...acquaintance of mine.” She said, grinning at him. She was making an effort with him, she actually cared enough to try. 

“Sure, that’d be really nice actually,” he responded, smiling back.

“Wonderful! I gotta head to class now but hopefully we can compare schedules during lunch! I could show you where your class is, though.”

Not wanting to be a burden, he answered, “Oh no, i-it’s fine. I’ll manage.”

“I never caught your name!”

“Um, Evan.”

She stated how it was nice to meet him and headed over to her class, unbeknownst to Evan, feeling pride that the conversation she practiced with the new kid went so well!

Evan wandered the halls, lost. Shit, why didn’t he take Alana up on her offer? 

_“Are you Jared’s boyfriend?”_

What the fuck? Evan shrieked loudly at the voice in his head.

_“Hey, hey! Calm down, you’re not going crazy or something!”_

“Who are you?!”

_“I’m only in your head, you don’t need to scream!”_

“You’re in my head, how can I not freak out?!”

_“Jesus, calm down. I’m just another student!”_

“Why is another student in my head?!”

_“Because I’m a telepath, silly!” The voice replied._

Oh. Evan felt himself calm down a bit.

“You think Jared’s my boyfriend?”

_“Everybody does, to be honest.”_

“He’s not! He doesn’t even like me!” Evan exclaimed. Realizing how that sounded, he corrected himself. “Platonically.”

_“Well damn. I owe Jeremy 5 dollars now. Oh well! Preeeeeeeetty sure he definitely likes you though.”_

Jake rolled by and looked at Evan with furrowed brows. Rich, who was walking beside Jake said, “She’s in your head? Trust me, we’ve all been there.”

“Wh-? How did you know it was a girl?” He trailed off again because they were both headed to class and he knew they couldn’t hear him.

“You know Jared, right? Do you know what his power is?” He asked.

_“Oh yeah! You wanna know the Kleinman secret?” The voice thought in a singsong manner._

He nodded.

_“Well, let’s talk in real life, ok? Look up please.”_

Evan did as she asked.

_“Aaaaaaaand look left.”_

He did so and saw a short girl, with long, fluffy blonde hair. Chloe was standing next to her while the girl enthusiastically waved. Evan approached her. 

“Hiya!”

“You...were in my head?”

“Yup! I’m telepathic!”

“I, uh, never caught your name,” Evan stated. 

Chloe was about to respond but the short blonde interjected, “I’ll tell you later! What class are you headed to, we can walk and talk.”

“Uh, 1403.”

“Oh us too!”

“What is the Kleinman secret anyways?” Evan asked, surprised that anyone even bothered to talk to him today.

Evan followed as the two girls strolled down the hall, knowing exactly where they’re going.

“Oh, no one knows. Our school keeps a database that has a record of everyone’s powers and well, Jared’s power in the school database changes all the time,” that small, blonde girl explained. “One time, it was being Jesus, another time it was “NOW GO CHOP HIS DICK OFF,” and right now…” 

“Wait, under his power it said “go chop his dick off,” not an actual power?”

Chloe nodded to confirm that while her friend checked her phone and went on the school site, typed in a password and pulled it up.

“Ohmigod.” She said.

“What?” Chloe asked, bemused while looking over her friend’s shoulder. “Jesus fuck, that’s disgusting.” Chloe said when she looked at the smartphone.

“What?” Evan asked.

The shorter girl looked up at her friend, as if asking for her to say it out loud, without saying a word. I mean, she could’ve easily been doing that. The bell rung but none of them seemed to be paying attention.

“Gross!” Chloe exclaimed, disgusted. “I’m not saying that shit out loud!” 

“Fine... I’ll do it,” She said, begrudgingly. “It says his power is a 10 foot, indestructible....is that a word?”

Chloe looked over her shoulder again. “I don’t think so?” She raised her voice at the end like it was a question. 

“Schlong….? It’s a 10 foot, indestructible schlong.”

The trio groaned in disgust while they approached math.

“Oh, um, what’s your name?”

“Oh right! It’s Brooke!”

“FUCK!” Evan exclaimed. That made Brooke chuckle.

Pissed at himself, Evan walked into the room and examined the class. Movie posters and math jokes covered the walls. The teacher’s desk was perfectly neat and organized. Those blue textbooks rested on an even stack on the corner of the desk while papers and packets were on the other corner. The room was a steely grey and felt kind of unwelcoming.

Evan quickly took a seat next to Jared and Jenna so the teacher wouldn’t notice he was late. Where was the teacher anyways?

“Dude,” Jared hissed, trying to stay quiet. “Were you talking to Brooke?”

“I’m sorry, she was in my head and she didn’t tell me her name! Why didn’t you want me to talk to her?”

“Is that really important?”

“Yes!” Evan exclaimed. Jared shushed him, like he didn’t want any classmates to hear. Evan thought that was redundant because Brooke was in the same room. 

“Fine, I’m sorry for being vague.” Jared sighed.

“Did you actually say sorry for once…?”

“Don’t get used to it, Hansen.” 

“It’s the little victories that matter though.”

The pair snickered like a duo of fucking nerds. 

“Oh hey Jared, can I see your schedule?”

Jared shrugged nonchalantly. “Sure.”

Evan looked at his and Jared’s, baffled. Two things made zero sense to Evan, the fact that Jared and Evan had EVERY class together. He didn’t notice this before but there were only 5 classes on the schedule.

“We...have every class together?”

Jared coughed nervously. “What a mystery and total fucking coincidence.”

Then suddenly, someone stood at the door, glitched out like technology infected with a virus and instantly teleported in front of the teacher’s desk. He looked to be in his mid 30’s and had wavy hair. He had a light beard and a no-bullshit expression. A white tie with a black 3.14 design rested around his black dress shirt. Around his face, light blue lines crawled up from his chin and his eyes were an inhumane bright blue. He assumed a power stance and looked confident.

“Welcome to math, you little shits.”

Evan heard a “The fuck?” come from behind him. And holy shit, it was Zoe. Evan felt his skin heat up a bit, and then quickly broke eye contact with her. He wasn’t sure if he was going to catch fire or if he was just blushing. He didn’t want to find out.

“As I’m sure you’re all aware of, I am your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor,” he informed. “The education edition. I will be referred to as the SQUIP or Mr. SQUIP.”

A hand shot up with the SQUIP groaned loudly. 

“What, Kleinman.”

“Can I call you Squippy?”

“If you want to be fucking expelled,” he snapped.

After that quip, Jared looked a bit taken aback. 

“Last year, your SQUIP 2.5 had trouble controlling such a rowdy group of enhanced adolescents. So, to prevent this, over the summer the educational SQUIPs have been upgraded to be more confident and more of an authoritative figure. I see many familiar faces even though this version of myself has never taught you. I have the “memories” of the former SQUIP’s students so I do not have to waste times with the niceties of getting to know you.”

Jeremy raised his hand.

“Yes, Heere.”

“You look like Keanu Reeves,” Jeremy said in awe.

“Ah yes, my default mode. The principal thought adolescents would respond better if their SQUIP was a well known figure in the media they consume.”

The SQUIP paced the room.

“Does anybody have any questions about their schedules?”

That’s when Alana raised her hand, repeating something under her breath.

“Jesus. What do you WANT, Beck?”

“I-,” Alana stammered.

“Don’t. Last year, you raised your hand approximately 1,423 times. That is almost 5x more than the average student.”

Alana quickly lowered her hand and picked at her nails.

“Anybody else?” He said flatly.  
Christine raised her hand, expecting to be scolded.

“What?”

“My schedule doesn’t have drama on it, even though I signed up for it as an elective. Did someone forget to put it on?”

“No.”

“Then...why don’t I have it?”

“Because drama, along with the rest of the electives, has been cut. We don’t have enough teachers to-”

Just like that, Christine passed out and was on the ground, muttering something about Shakespeare. 

The whole class was staring at Christine, who shot up and grabbed Jeremy’s shirt, whose seat was right next to her. Jeremy’s face was tomato red while Christine said, “Tell me it isn’t true! Tell me it was just some horrifying dream!”

“I, uh, um-,” Jeremy muttered like a smooth player.

“It really happened. Sit down.” The SQUIP stated, like he didn’t give a shit.

“Did Mr. Reyes get fired?!”

“No, he’s the PE and English teacher.”

The whole class was silent, taking in that news, until they all burst into different levels of laughter.

“You’re kidding, right?” Zoe laughed.  
Even Connor, who sat in the back of the class, chuckled, “Mr. Reyes? Teaching PE?”

Jake slammed his fist against his desk, doubling over. The desk shattered like it was porcelain. Laughter ceased right when the loud smash occured. Heads turned to look at Jake while he rubbed his hand across the back of his head, flustered.

“Oh shit. Sorry sir! Can’t control it sometimes,” he apologized.

The SQUIP rolled his eyes and stepped into the back of the class, where extra desks rested by the wall. He pushed a new desk to Jake, frustrated, and cleaned up the shattered desk with little strain while mumbling about how he should get paid for this.

Then Michael stumbled into class holding a small bag with leafy green contents. His eyes were incredibly red and he had a fairly relaxed expression.

“Where have you been, Mell? And what’s in the bag?”

“...Lettuce.”

“Sit the fuck down.”

Later, Mr. SQUIP rambled during class about his expectations for the year and Evan felt so...bored. He never thought one person could just keep talking and talking and be so boring. People passed around a sheet of paper around the class and then they snuck onto their phones. When Evan got the sheet of paper, it had around 15 phone numbers for a “math group chat.” Being unsociable, Evan passed the sheet to Jared without putting his number. Everyone began to pack 90 minutes later and Evan concluded that the bell must be ringing soon.

“Not so fast!” The SQUIP exclaimed. He began to pass out 5 sheets of paper while the class groaned. “These sheets must be completed by next class and don’t think you can half ass it and get full credit for completion, these will be graded based on correct answers.”

Alana raised her hand and looked a bit hurt when the SQUIP groaned at the sight of her. 

“What.”

“Why are we getting graded assignments on the first day when you didn’t teach us anything yet?” She asked.

“It’s based on what you learned last year.”

 

“You expect us to remember all that?” Jared asked, annoyed.

“No, but 5 graded assignments will be excellent incentive for you to remind yourself.”

The class muttered to each other and Evan picked up on a “Absolute bullshit” and a “I’m telling you Jenna, this is gonna be like the Terminator.”

The bell rung and Evan picked up his backpack and prepared to head out the door. “That is total horseshit!” Jared vented. “First day of school and we already have a goddamn packet due tomorrow?”

They headed out into the crowded hall and looked for 2218 where they’d be having science. Evan zoned out and began to ponder about Zoe. There was just something about her he couldn’t stop thinking about. That smile was so subtle yet…perfect.

“...Not to mention, how he was a total dicktwitch to Beck,” Jared rambled. “Wait, dude. Were you even listening to me?”

“Um, yeah.”

“Name one thing I said.”

“Something about...a twitching dick?” Evan said, completely unsure. That was met by around five seconds of silence.

“You fucking suck, Hansen,” Jared said with a laugh.  
Jared rested his back near the outside the door of 2218 and Evan stood next to him. 

“Ok man, promise me you won’t freak out when you see the teacher.”

“Freak out…?” Evan questioned.

“Yeah, freak out. Just don’t act like you’re having an aneurysm.” 

Jared swaggered into class while Evan stayed close behind. The science class was a soft yellow with hints of other complimenting colors. Posters of plants and animals covered the walls and Evan felt at home, comforted, and calm. Evan looked around for the teacher but to no avail before he sat down next to Rich and Alana. Jared sat behind them.

“Yo Beck,” Jared called, tapping Alana’s shoulder with a pencil. “You okay?”

“Huh? Oh I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Evan asked. “Mr. SQUIP was really rude to you.”

She nodded too quickly, something Evan could relate to and she returned to her drawing. It was a blooming rose and a girl that look familiar, but Evan couldn’t quite place his finger on where he saw that girl before.

The teacher strolled into class with a grin on her face and Evan’s jaw dropped to the floor. He looked at Jared in disbelief while his (family) friend snickered.

“Evan, honey!”

“Uh-”

His mom began to hug him tightly while the rest of the class watched. 

“You’re a teacher? I thought you were a nurse?”

“Come on, kiddo, you’re not even going to say hi?”

“Hi…”

“Oh! And I am a nurse, I also work as the school nurse since Ms. Ziegler quit unexpectedly? She wanted to be a real doctor, not someone who ‘gave tylenol and sent teenagers home when they pretended to be sick.’ Her words, not mine.”

“Great,” Evan responded tightly while his face flushed. Jared began to lose his shit.

“How’s your first day, honey? I see you’re hanging out with Jared more, I knew you two would be great friends!”

“Mom, it’s fine, you have class.”

“Alright, alright! Don’t rush me!” She said with a chuckle.

She walked between the desks but stopped at Alana’s, peering at her drawings. 

“You’re very talented, Alana!”

Alana shyly grinned, “Thank you, Ms. Hansen.”

She patted Alana’s head while smiling.

“So what did you guys do for the summer?” Heidi asked.

She got very mixed results, Evan picked up on a “I found a key shaped like a dick in a garbage can,” with no context. 

Heidi did her best to try and respond to each statement, which was difficult because they all overlapped. “Alright guys, this all sounds very interesting! Let’s go one at a time!”

She called on Rich, who (surprisingly) raised his hand. “I went to Canada for a few weeks.”

“How interesting, Richard! Did you see anything new there?”

“Who’s Richard…?” Evan heard Chloe whisper.

“Not really, Ms. Hansen. But I went to Quebec to practice French, so I could do better in French class. Ms. Lacroix was absent though…” Rich explained, looking a bit disappointed.

“Oh I’m sorry, kiddo. She quit, just left a note and didn’t come back.”

“Damn,” Jared exclaimed. “How come everyone is quitting?”

Heidi shrugged. “Beats me.”

“Who else quit?” Christine asked.

“Um, Coach Ella, the German teacher Ms. Wannagithi, the English teacher Professor Crocker, the janitor and...every elective teacher?”

“The fuck?” said Connor. “How is this school even still running?”

“Language. And to answer your question, it’s because we’re one of the only powered schools in the state and we got new custodians that are...unconventional.”

“Do we have cafeteria workers?”

“Well, kind of. The Squip was put in charge of hiring new faculty. He did an interesting job,” Heidi answered. “Anyways! Let’s do a quick lab!”

The class split into trios to work on the assignment and Evan watched as no one approached Connor bothering to ask him. Evan was about to approach him to invite him with Evan and Jared.

“Ev! I got Beck to join us!” Alana awkwardly grinned at them.

The experiment was a class wide success, the assignment was to take the ingredients she left on her table and create slime. 

“Jared, you forgot the glue!” Alana stated.

“It’s fine, we don’t need it.”

“No, I’m pretty sure we do!”

Alana and Jared mixed the ingredients (including the glue, Alana managed to get him to use it) in a bowl and began to stir using a large wooden spoon Heidi passed out.

“Fuck kind of food coloring is this?”

“Maroon. It’s a color that’s a dark brownish red.”

“It looks like shit.”

“Well, yeah,” Alana chuckled. “It’s brownish.”

Evan didn’t pay attention to the platonic bickering Jared and Alana were participating in. He watched Connor sit alone with an angry look in his eyes and Evan felt a pang of empathy, knowing what’s like to be ignored or alone. His attention turned to Zoe, who was working with Chloe (and looked like she hated it), stirring the hot pink slime. Chloe was chattering to Brooke, who wasn’t even in her group, about some girl named Madeline while Zoe did the work. 

Zoe turned around and made eye contact with Evan, while Evan panicked and looked at his feet. Wait. Evan looked back up at Zoe. She wasn’t even looking at him, she was looking at Alana.

“Earth to Evan.”

“Huh?”  
“You’re staring at the Murphys. Damn, could you be less creepy about it though?”

“I wasn’t staring!” Evan corrected defensively.

“Suuuuuure,” Jared said sardonically while his attention turned to Alana. She was staring at Zoe too. 

“Jesus, could you guys be less obvious about your crushes. Damn.”

“I wasn’t staring!” The both exclaimed at the same time.

“Uh huh.”

“Bold words,” Brooke said across the room. “Coming from someone who’s into E-”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP.”

Heidi approached them and grinned. “How are things over here?”

“They’re good, Ms. Hansen,” Jared explained. “But these two can’t stop staring at Zoooooooeeeeee Murphy.” He said in a sing song manner.

Evan and Alana’s protests overlapped while Jared grinned.

The class wrapped up and Heidi kept the slime the class made in the corner by a window. She chattered about how well the class did and the slime was really well made! The class packed their things and prepared to head out the door.

“Have a great day, everyone!” Heidi said after the bell rang.

“Oh Evan! Wait!” Alana said while catching up to him. “What class are you headed to?”

“Oh um,” He looked at his schedule. “PE & HE.”

“Huh, me too! We just keep meeting, don’t we?”

“It’s really weird, isn’t it?”

Jared hurried them along so they can head to his favorite class. They arrived in a small gym and saw a taller man who was the definition of receding hairline. He wore a dark brown suit on the top but wore gym shorts as pants. He looked like he really didn’t want to be there. 

“Mr. Reyes!” Christine greeted cheerfully. “I’m so glad you didn’t quit!”

“Ah, Christine,” He responded with a shakespearean manner. “If you saw what go on here after hours, you’d want to quit. But you can’t live off Hobby Lobby wages and I’m a Liberal Arts major.”

“Wait,” Michael interjected. “Are you qualified to teach English?”

“Um. SO, BACK TO PE & HE.”

“HE?” Jeremy asked.

“Heroism education,” Mr. Reyes informed. “To learn to control your powers, we do physical lessons, along with mental lessons, which is why we are also PE. Now, does anyone have any questions?”

Almost every hand shot up in the air.

“Any questions that aren’t sarcastic or making fun of my major?”

Most of the hands went down.

“Yes?” He responded to one of the hands that remained in the air.

“How do you teach us to control our powers if each power is different?” Jeremy asked, trying hard to keep eye contact.  
“Good question. Powers don’t only rely on physical skill. It also relies on focus and intuition. That’s why some of you are excellent when it comes to control despite being juniors. And some of you are basically walking hazards. I’m not talking about Jake “Desk Destroyer” Dillinger.”

Jake’s face flushed and he laughed along with the class. Evan admired his ability to laugh at himself while he wiped his hands on his pants again. What if he ended up with a nickname like “Desk Destroyer”? 

Jared nudged him while pointing at a kid in a baseball cap across the room. 

“Who’s that?” Evan asked. 

“Dustin Kropp. He can fly but everyone calls him the Kroppduster.”

“Dude, that’s so dumb, who came up with that?”

Jared looked slightly offended. “I did, asshole.”

Zoe was standing next to Evan (holy fuck, how did he not notice her?) and snickered.

Mr. Reyes continued to ramble about the class but never really got a point across, like he was trying to bullshit his way through something he didn’t really know about.

“Now!” He said with a passion in his voice. _“Well, when isn’t he passionate?” Evan thought._

“Lunch will be beginning in 5 minutes, but you can leave early so I can prepare my fine meal.” He said while holding a box of fucking hot pockets.

Confused murmurs filled the room as the class dispersed out of the gymnasium.

Alana was conversing with Jared while strolling to the hall. Evan overheard Jared taunting Mr. Reyes’s pants while Evan hung back. He found himself next to the infamous Connor Murphy.  
“What?” Connor said. “Are you gonna make fun of me like before?” His voice shaking with paranoia. 

“I didn’t-”

“You let Kleinman laugh at me.”

“I’m sorry.” 

Connor didn’t respond.

“What are your classes…?” Evan asked.

Connor took out a folded piece of paper out of his jeans and handed it to Evan. He didn’t make eye contact, his eyes remained on the floor. They had a few classes together, but Connor’s name was misspelled on the schedule. It was “Conor Morpi.”

Evan tried to contain his laughter and looked up at Connor. His urge to laugh dispelled. 

“I won’t make fun of you,” Evan comforted, sightly taken aback by his openness. 

Surprisingly, Connor’s expression softened. “Thank you.”

Evan nodded and broke eye contact, while saying it wasn’t a problem when they arrived at the cafeteria shortly after their classmates.

It was large and the walls were a baby blue. The walls were decorated with murals the graduating classes made the large, white lunch table took up a lot of the room. Connor sat at a table by the garbage, alone. He opened a lunch box and took out a shitty baloney sandwich and a book. Evan barely made out the title but it was “The Basis Of Morality.” Connor took a bit of his sandwich with one hand and read with the other. Evan got into the lunch line and stared at the workers with bewilderment. 

They were mechanical robots that worked in assembly lines to cook and pass out food. They were a dull grey, like they lost their shine. Some were covered with dents. 

The other kids in line has various reactions like “I told you! It’s gonna be like The Terminator!” or “Oh shit, Detroit: Become Human is gonna happen.”

The mechanical works all passed out generic sandwiches with a water bottle. Evan exited the line and saw one hand flipping him off again. He approached the table and sat down.

“Hansen, we need your help,” Jared stated.

“Basically life and death,” Alana added, jokingly.

“What is it?”

“Divergent series; shit or not shit?” asked Jared.

“I think they’re well written!” Alana said.

“Too bad, my pet cat can write better shit than that.”

“Have you read them?” Alana asked.

“I’m not a masochist, Beck.”

“Well, how can you hate something if you never read it?”

Jared shrugged while Evan asked, “What’s Divergent?”

“My lord, Hansen. You’re basically Patrick Star.”

Evan stared at him, confused while holding his sad, whole wheat sandwich. “Pink?”

“You live under a fucking rock. Jesus.”  
“No, I don’t-” 

“What?” Alana asked as Evan stared behind her. She turned around and saw that smart, snarky girl levitating two platters of food next to her. A smile crossed her face and Evan’s heart danced a little.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Zoe Murphy herself.”

“The Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman is in the flesh.” 

Evan tried not to groan. Jared started referring to himself as “The Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman” a while ago.

“Oooo, using my full title. Already getting on my good side, Murphy.” Jared said with wit in his voice.

Zoe’s mouth opened to respond, probably with similar wit, when the trays that were levitating around her lost the hot pink aura around them. Just like that, they both hit the ground. Zoe put a hand on her head and winced with pain.

“Jesus, Murphy. Are you alright?”

Evan stood up to try and help her but Zoe stuck her hand out. “I’m good, I’m good.” She said defensively. “I just...get headaches. It’s my weakness.”

“That’s your weakness?” Jared asked. “I just can’t swim.”

“You can’t swim?” Zoe said with a laugh. “What are you, a rock?”

“Don’t laugh, Murphy. It’s deadly, Poseidon is out to get me.”

“Uh huh.”

“So,” Alana said awkwardly. “What brings you to our table?”

She shrugged. “I normally sit with Chloe and she just talks shit about Jenna.”

“Doesn’t Jenna sit with Chloe?” Alana asked. “How does she talk shit behind her back?”

“I never said behind her back.”

“Damn,” Evan said quietly.

“Fucking Valentine, why is she such a mega bitch?” Jared said, sounding kind of pissed.

“She isn’t so bad,” Alana said quietly. “She tells good stories.”

“You mean shit talking?”

“Well, I like seeing the good in people!” Alana said, with innocence gleaming in her eyes.

“What, like Connor?”

“Yeah, he's pretty smart.”

“Can we not talk about my brother please?” Zoe said quickly while the chatter in the background became louder.

“Why, do you have an incest thing going on?”

Zoe stared at him, expressionless. She raised an eyebrow. “That’s disgusting and not funny.”

“Jesus, sorry.”

The table went silent for a bit before Jake screamed, “WORLDSTAR,” out of fucking nowhere.

“The fuck?” Zoe muttered. She turned around and saw students throwing around sandwiches. A carton of milk flew threw the air and the milk splashed all over Connor’s table. The milk soaked his book and rage covered his face. He glared at the table spawning the food fight while a dangerous look in his eyes. The fight instantly died down. 

“Are food fights even realistic? I mean, I’m serious. Name one school that actually had a food fight,” Alana stated.

“Connor just looked at him and it instantly stopped. How?” Evan asked, partly in awe.

“Are you kidding? Everyone is terrified of him, Connor Murphy is batshit out of his mind,” Jared told. “Dude, in second grade, the teacher wouldn’t let him be line leader.”

“So he threw a printer?” Evan said, almost disinterested. At his old school, no one could stop talking about that second grader who attacked a teacher.

“Threw a printer?” Alana asked. “Where'd you hear that?”

“No dude, worse. This is how he discovered his power. Motherfucker pulled a Lapis Lazuli.”

“You watch Steven Universe?” Zoe asked.

Jared scoffed. “No! I caught my sister watching an episode.”

“You don’t have a sister,” Evan responded.

“Whatever! Anyways! There was a fish tank in the room and while Connor was pissed about not being line leader, the water began to levitate. It formed a bubble around the teacher’s head. Literally Lapis Lazuli shit.”

“What happened to the teacher?”

“No clue.”

“I heard,” Alana added. “That the teacher used to be an Olympic swimmer and held his breath until Connor calmed down.”

“I call bullshit.”

“I never said I believed it! That's just what I heard!”

“If he were an Olympic swimmer, why would he be a second grade teacher?” Zoe asked.  
“It’s part of his Rocky comeback story? I don’t know! Lost in a race and broke an ankle. Now he's teaching second graders to become more humble.”

“What?” Jared deadpanned.

“I'd watch that,” Zoe said.

“Evan, you ok?” Alana inquired. Why did she care? “You seem distant.”

“Oh, it's fine. I'm just listening,” he lied quietly. He didn’t have anything to add, he felt like he had nothing to add and things wouldn’t change if he wasn't there.

“Oh, Hansen! Do you know what happened next?”

“What?”

“The elementary school literally called the cops and had Connor detained.”

“What? He was 7!”

“Yeah and when his parents picked him up, word got around that there might’ve been a court case.”

“Oh, yeah! I heard about that!”

“But he was a kid,” Evan defended.

“Yeah, we know. Civilians fear what they can't understand. Anyways, the court case never happened.”

“There's a couple reasons going around as to why,” Alana informed. “Some people say his parents paid hush money, some say a defense team member died under mysterious circumstances.” She said, trying to sound all spooky.

Zoe rolled her eyes and chuckled. “That’s bullshit. No one died. It's just no one wanted to arrest a 7 year old and there was no evidence he directly tried to harm his teacher. People just saw water floating.”

“I heard Madeline Lacroix talking to Dustin Kropp!”

“You heard it from the Kroppduster? That’s how we know that it's accurate,” Jared said, sardonically.

“Well, Madeline is accurate!”

“How? She lies about being French,” Zoe chimed.

“I thought she was French this whole time,” Alana said, in a bit of shock.

“She failed French last year,” Jared deadpanned. “Her accent was dogshit. She once said ‘Bonjourno’ like the fucking frozen pizza.”’  
“Buongiorno is italian,” Alana corrected.

Evan burst out laughing. 

“IT’S NOT DELIVERY, IT’S BONJOURNO,” Jared joked while Zoe tried to contain her laughter.

Alana failed at containing hers and doubled over laughing.

Evan looked over his friends and saw a girl wearing a pink sweater glaring over at them. “IT WAS ONE TIME,” She yelled back. 

“Say a French sentence!” Zoe yelled across the cafeteria while the cafeteria became silent, seeing if Madeline could pull off a sentence in her alleged first language.

“Non.”

“Ah, come on!” Jared taunted. “Say something!”

“I did. ‘Non.’”

“You just said No in French,” Jake said from the another side of the cafeteria.

“Well, if I wasn't French, I wouldn't be able to say it so ha!”

“Can you say something else?” Alana chimed in loudly. 

“Um,” She took an entire minute, deciding her words. “...Oui.”

“Well?” Chloe said, sounding pretty judgmental.

“Je suis sexy.”

“THAT’S NOT EVEN COMPLETELY FRENCH,” Chloe yelled.

The cafeteria broke out into an argument about whether or not “Je suis sexy” was grammatically correct. 

Someone entered the room, mostly unnoticed, only Evan and Connor looking when they entered the room.

“YEAH BUT SEXY ISN’T A FRENCH WORD, IT'S FUCKING ENGLISH,” Jared exclaimed.

“OH, SO YOU'RE THE FRENCH EXPERT NOW?” Madeline said sarcastically. “YOU TOOK FUCKING SPANISH.”

“Uh, excuse me,” that individual said without anyone noticing. He wore a buttoned blue shirt and these stained grey pj pants, like he didn’t want to wear pants but he put them on last minute.

“FRENCH AND SPANISH ARE BASICALLY THE SAME.”

“No, they're fucking not,” Zoe said. “Why are you screaming?”

“I'M PROVING A POINT, MURPHY.”

“Sorry to bug you, kiddos-”

He was cut off by inane screaming and the butchering of the french language. 

“If I could have your attention for just a moment-”

“DOES ANYONE WANT TO HEAR ME PERFORM ALL OF HAMILTON?” Christine yelled, clearly trying to change the subject. Probably.

“NO!” Literally everyone else yelled.

 

“Hello?” That guy tried to speak over them but to no avail. That's when Mr. SQUIP teleported into the room. “SHUT UP!”

The room went silent. “You are an inferior intelligence level. So much so that my processors must run Windows 98 to comprehend how outdated and dull it is. Now shut up and listen.”

“...Thank you, Mr. SQUIP.”

Evan caught Jeremy’s eye, who was leaning down as low as he could.

“Hey guys! Does anyone remember me?” The stranger greeted with a smile.

There were a few murmurs but no one answered.

“Come on! Principal Heere? The cool principal? The guy who spent hundreds for a school wide pizza party?”

“Who?” Jenna asked.

“Dang…” Principal Heere said quietly. “Welp! I just want you kids to know I got an ice cream truck to chillax outside of our school so you can get some on your way out!”

The cafeteria cheered but Jared was cringing at his use of the word “chillax.” 

“One more thing! Quick reminder of the rules!”

The cafeteria groaned loudly. Someone threw a water bottle at Principal Heere’s head. He tried to ignored it.

“Besides, normal school rules and the rule poster in every classroom, no powers unless approved. So no phasing through the boy’s bathroom.”

Everyone looked at Madeline. “AGAIN, ONE TIME!”

“No zipping around the halls.”

“But it's faster!” Chloe complained.

“Just walk,” Brooke said across Chloe’s table. “Jesus.”

“And no destroying desks.”

“It was an accident,” the infamous desk destroyer defended.

“But other than that, there’s one more rule! Have fun!”

No one cheered, Mr. SQUIP coughed.

“Really?” Principal Heere said, sounded defeated. “Fine, lunch is over. Head to class.”

The cafeteria was empty pretty soon and a robot was trying to broom but just ended up hitting a wall.

“I feel kind of bad for our principal,” Alana stated.

“Why?” Jared asked, with no bitterness or sarcasm in his voice. 

“He wants to be liked but everyone is really mean to him.”

“Yeah,” Zoe agreed. “We could bring him at cookies or something.”

_“Woah. How did she always say the right thing?” Evan thought._

“Great idea! I could bake them!” Alana said, excited.

Zoe smirked. “Ok, cool.”

“Hansen, stop being fucking quiet.”

“I don't know what to add.”

“Well, that's ok!” Alana said. “Sometimes, I don’t know what to add either.”

“Hansen, can I talk to you alone?”

Oh no. Oh fuck, did he say something wrong?

“Mhm,” Evan answered tightly.

Jared led him towards a corner next to the gym. He leaned against the wall.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Hansen. Come on.”

This was his shot, to open up. Maybe know for sure that Jared was his friend.

“I just feel like I'm not important, nothing would be different if I disappeared.”

“Dude,” Jared stated. “It would’ve been a lot more awkward.”

“Don’t lie.”

“I'm not. It's fine, know you make things not awkward by being around.”

It was silent.

“Do you care about me, Jared? 

He didn’t respond.

What would Jared say? _”I liked you ever since I knew what liking meant. Your presence makes me feel like I'm not a constant headache. Your smile is sweet and it brightens my day. I don't know how to fucking talk to you.”_

He ended up shrugging but he saw the hurt in Evan’s eyes. 

“I care about you,” Evan said quietly. 

_”Please don't ever leave me, Evan. I care so much, I don’t know why I hurt you. You put up with my shit after all these years. You didn’t leave me after all these years.”_

“Say something,” Evan said, he sounded like he was pleading.

_”I think I’m in love with you, Hansen.”_

“What do you want me to say?” Jared said, quietly. Looking at those fucking eyes.

“Anything you want,” Evan said, sounding like he was in a daydream. Jared’s heart pounded. 

Jared found himself moving closer towards Evan. Something about him felt like a magnet. He didn’t wanna stop. Evan wasn’t moving away. 

Evan’s skin got hot. So hot. His skin was going to ignite again. What’s going on?

“You’re not so bad, Hansen.” _”You’re incredible.”_

They were just inches away from each other when Mr. Reyes stuck his head out of the gym. “What are you doing?”

Both Evan and Jared screamed. Jared shoved Evan away. “NOTHING!”

“That didn’t look like nothin-”

“IT’S NOTHING. WE'RE FAMILY FRIENDS. FAMILY FRIENDS, GODDAMMIT,” Jared exclaimed, too quickly and nervously for it to be nothing. He rushed into the gym. Evan was still against the wall, wondering what the fuck happened.

“Well? Do you want a formal invitation for class or?” Mr. Reyes asked. 

“N-No, it's fine!” Evan said, too quickly and rushed into the gym too. 

The rest of class rushed by. The class was split into two and then did the pacer. No one was prepared and brought any gym clothes. The first half was pretty average. The really athletic kids got to about 90 and it took a bit. But it spent the entire time of class because Chloe got 400 on it. Everyone watched as she ran without any sign of even the slightest amount of fatigue. 90 minutes passed and the class rested right before the bell rang. 

“Bull fucking shit. Of course, the girl with super speed gets a 400,” Jared said to Evan. Was he even going to address what happened?

“She wasn’t even that fast.”

“No shit, she clearly wanted to go at a realistic speed but she has incredible stamina. Chloe fucking Valentine cheated on the goddamn pacer test.”

“Hey Jared, can we talk?”

“About?”

“You know…”

“There's nothing to talk about, dude,” Jared brushed off. He brushed him off again.

Evan walked past him, angry, sad? He wasn’t sure what he was feeling. He headed to class alone.

“Evan, wait!” He turned around, was Jared coming after him?

Oh, it was Alana. At least, she cares about him more than Jared. 

“Yeah?”

“Are you ok?”

“Why wouldn't I be?

Fuck, how would she say this? _”I saw what happened between you and Jared. I shouldn’t have been watching, I'm so sorry. I was invisible and I forgot- You're never going to want to be my friend now. It's ok, Evan. If you're sad about it. I know we just met today but I don't have any friends. I don't want to be alone. I was hoping maybe we could-”_

No. She shook her head. 

“You just seem like something is bothering you,” She said.

Evan shrugged.

“I’m ok,” he lied. “We have history together, don't we?”

Alana checked her schedule and nodded.

 _”Is it really a coincidence we have the same classes?”_ She thought.

Evan didn't respond. Alana put a hand on his shoulder.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“It's fine, I'm ok.”

Alana gave him a weak smile. “Come on, I know where our class is.” He let her lead the way.

“Oh! By the way, I like your shoes!” She said randomly. Ha! He knew his uggs were cool! “Thank you.”

“Of course, they look comfy!”

How could she just say what she thought and it always seemed like the right thing to say?

The history class seemed pretty generic for a history class but was the only one who bothered to put up the rule poster. Evan sat next to Alana. 

Evan looked at his schedule. His locker was 1874 and he realized he completely fucking forgot to put his shit in his locker.

“Who do you think the history teacher is?” Alana asked.

“I don’t know, to be honest.”

“Well, Ms. Amari taught history last year. She basically talked to you to sleep.”

“Do you think it's her again?”

“No, last year was bad. She’s pretty old and some students irritated her so much, she retired last minute.”

“Do you think everyone is quitting because we all suck?”

“Probably.”

“Hey Alana? Can I ask you something?”

“Mhm!”

“We only have about 4 teachers right?”

“I’m not sure. I think.”

“That can't be enough to teach every grade, right?”

“I don’t really know, I think they don't have breaks and just work all day trying to teach everyone.”

“Damn.”

Principal Heere entered the room and tried to get the class’s attention. No one listened.

While he tried to say something, Jared entered late.

“Oh, Jared!” Principal Heere greeted. “Hey, you’re a bit late, kiddo.”

“I was in the bathroom,” he responded neutrally. 

“Well, that's fine. Hurry up next time.”

Jared nodded and sat an empty seat across the room.

“Can I have your attention?”

No one gave their attention.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP,” Michael screamed.

“...Uh alright. Well, since Ms. Amari’s unexpected retirement, we mostly had substitutes in this class. But none are willing to work here anymore so I'll be placeholding!”

Brooke raised her hand. “Yeah?”

“Are you qualified to teach History?”

“Well, that's what Wikipedia is for!” He laughed, the kind that came from your gut after hearing a corny joke. 

No one laughed along. A stray cough added to the awkward silence. 

Principal Heere messed with his collar and laughed nervously. Zoe entered the room, looking almost hollow.

“Hey Zo! Missed my joke, hehe!”

She didn’t respond.

“Have you seen your brother? He didn’t show up either.”

“No.”

“Ok, just take a seat, kiddo.”

She sat next to Alana silently.

“Right! First up, just a quick reminder of our rules! It's on our wall so read it in case you forget.”

He began to ramble about the rules. “No cheating, plagiarism or copying-”

Evan looked over at Jared, who stared at his notebook. Why was he getting hot? Evan’s skin was getting hot again. Jared looked up at Evan and they made eye contact. Alana tapped Evan and pointed at his notebook, about to ignite from the heat of Evan’s skin. Evan patted his notebook in a quick and nervous manner, trying to stop the fire before it started. He looked back at Jared. Was that guilt in his eyes? Jared broke eye contact and looked at his desk. Evan leaned lower while holding his phone. His hot feeling cooled down. His fingers quickly tapped his keyboard.

Evan: I’m sorry for leaving like that  
Jared: its fine idc  
Jared: look im sorry for brushing you off like that  
Evan: Is that twice in one day?  
Jared: stfu  
Evan: I’m just in awe.  
Jared: haha.  
Jared: anyways  
Jared: how about a silent agreement to never speak of that again  
Evan: That’s probably not healthy but that’s how I deal with my feelings so ok.  
Jared: mood  
Evan: Are we good?  
Jared: i think so lol

Principal Heere passed out a syllabus to the class and noticed Evan texting. He didn’t say anything and continued to pass out the papers in a rushed manner. 

Jared: oi dumbass  
Evan: Um  
Evan: What?  
Jared: dude! brooke!

Oh shit.

Evan: I didn’t think about it!

Ok, that was a lie.

Jared: well i def didnt think abt it either!  
Evan: I mean, there’s nothing to think about.  
Jared: exactly. pretty uneventful.  
Evan: Yeah, I don’t know why Brooke would even care.  
Evan: Oh wait, what about the silent agreement?  
Jared: oh shit  
Jared: ok the silent agreement starts now

_”You guys are pretty bad at silent agreements,” Brooke thought at him._

“I’m not that bad,” Evan muttered.

“Did you say something?” Alana whispered/

“Nothing,” he said quickly.

History ended rather quickly and Evan managed to get out before the small crowd. He realized not a lot of people attended this school. He wondered why. Students split into small groups, chattering about nothing important. 

“Have a great afternoon!” Principal Heere said. Evan leaned against the lockers and watched people pass.

To his surprise, Connor waved goodbye at him. Evan returned it with a small grin.

Brooke smiled at Evan while Chloe watched with a raised eyebrow. Evan smiled back. People NOTICED him. Sure, it was a few but it was more before.

Jared caught up with Evan after conversing with Jeremy.

“Hey, where were you?”

“Oh, I was just talking to Heere.”

“To who?”

“Heere. Jeremy Heere.”

“Wait. Like Principal Heere?”

“Yeah, that’s his dad. Why do you think he was so embarrassed during lunch?”

Evan didn’t respond but that made sense.

“Hey Jared, did you notice that so many of our classmates have a lot of classes with us?” He asked, changing the subject.

“Nope. Sheer chance,” he said tightly.

“Boo!” Alana said out of nowhere. She faded out of her invisibility. 

The other two shrieked loudly. Alana chuckled with a sweet smile.

“Jesus!”

“I got you, didn’t I?”

“Haha,” Jared said sarcastically. 

Soda cans flew through the halls and left a brown, fizzy arc, exiting the top of the can. The liquid and aluminum can stop dead in the tracks before it was able to drench Alana. It was surrounded by a hot pink aura before completely changing direction by going into a trash can. Zoe approached them while they watched.

“Doesn’t that belong in the recycling?” Evan asked.

“Shit, you’re right,” Zoe agreed before the can floated into the blue bin next to it.

“Hey Zoe, were you ok in the beginning of class? You looked like you saw a ghost,” Evan asked, concerned.

“It’s fine. Doesn’t matter,” she smiled but it felt...hollow.

The halls were basically empty so the four headed down the hall together. They reached outside and strolled past the line of the ice cream truck, which was kind of short.

Zoe saw the shitty toyota in the parking lot with Connor behind the wheel. Her smile faded.

“Hey, I got to go-” She said suddenly. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Evan added. “You look like something is bothering you.”

“It’s fine-” She was cut off by Connor pressing the horn continuously. Everyone who was headed to the buses, or parking lot, or people who just stood on the sidewalks to continue their conversations before they left, turned to stare at that old Toyota fucking minivan. He didn’t raise his hand from the horn.

The conversation ceased while everyone just watched.

“What the fuck is he doing?” Jared asked.

“I-I don’t know,” Alana responded with a brief pause.

“Yup, I told you I gotta go.” She waved goodbye before heading to that old ass car. The honk didn’t stop.

“Wait, is he high?” Evan asked. The red in Connor’s eyes weren’t very subtle. 

He never got an answer as the car slowly pulled out of the parking lot and hit the road. Huh.

Alana said goodbye before heading to her bus while Evan and Jared headed to his car. The ride home was silent while Evan looked at that bobblehead on Jared’s dashboard even more. He poked its large head. Jared looked at Evan and smiled a little bit. He shook his head and began to focus on the road. 

“Mind if I plug in my aux cord?” Jared asked.

“You have an aux cord in this thing?”

“Duh,” he said while plugging in his phone. Rebecca Black’s Friday began to boom in the car. The windows rolled down and Jared cranked up the volume. Evan laughed while the car continued to drive down the neighbourhood road. 

Jared dropped Evan off at home before driving home. Evan was still grinning from ear to ear before unlocking his front door and sitting on the couch.

Heidi arrived around 20 minutes later, dropping her bag on the kitchen table while running a hand through her hair. She sat down on the couch next to Evan.

“Oh my god, you’re smiling after school.”

“Mom-”

“How was your first day?” She said.

“It was ok. I didn’t burn down the school.”

“Hey! That’s...good? Low standards, but good!”

“Yeah, I guess. How was work?”

“It was ok, no one broke a leg.”

“Low standards but good,” Evan said, quoting his mom.

“Well, what do you know! Look at us! Bonding, talking, this is great!”  
Evan giggled. “Yeah, it’s nice.”

Heidi made some tea and talked to Evan about his day. To their surprise, they spent the rest of the day talking.

“Shit-” Heidi muttered. “I’m sorry honey, I got to go. Meeting.”

“It’s 9:00pm.”

“I know, I’m sorry. The SQUIP called for the "emergency" meeting and he doesn't sleep. This happens a lot-”

“It’s ok, Mom. I’ll see you later,” he gave a weak smile.

She hugged him tightly before heading out again. Evan spent the rest of the night watching tv as his mind raced again. This has to be his peak right? What if it all gets worse? What if he gets hit by a bus? Or he burns down the school? He had a few close calls today. He headed to bed around 11:10 and laid there.

What if, what if, what if? It was the exhaustion that put him to sleep.


End file.
